Musings
by AlunaGray
Summary: AUs and spin-offs of Ruminant. Where, in every dimension he found himself in, Hibari Kyoya as Nara Shikari never failed to be unfairly overpowered and bad-ass.
1. Cloudy Sky AU - i

Cloudy-Sky AU - **I**

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 **Summary:** Where Itachi is in denial and cloudy-sky!Shikari is oblivious.

* * *

Arranging the papers in the Hokage's office in barely concealed exasperation and fondness, Uchiha Itachi looked out of the window nostalgically.

They came a long way, huh.

How time passed by.

He wasn't even in his thirties yet and Itachi felt that a lot had happened. Fighting with some of the Elemental Nation's greatest shinobi, sparring with the tailed beasts and their jinchurikiis, preventing not one but two world wars, killing an otherworldly creature created by the so-called "Mother of Chakra" who was apparently locked at the moon at the moment-

Having Nara Shikari- one of the most violent and socially inept people he knew - as his Hokage.

Yes. It gave him a pause at first too, but he wasn't really surprised when he thought about it.

Although there were many who expected him to be the successor with his once-a-generation genius and considerable reputation, Itachi knew from the start that he would be no match for his boss. In another life maybe, where Nara Shikari didn't exist, Itachi would have once yearned for the position and perhaps achieved it if he persevered enough. He's certainly strong enough for it since he reached S-class in every bingo book before he reached his twenties for a reason, and Shishui did always say he had a particular kind of charisma and flair for leading people.

Alas - to the ever-lasting disappointment of those who were more opportunistic in his clan - it was not to be, for the world he lived in did have a very independent Nara Shikari in existence and Itachi, even though he's exasperated with all the antics he was pulled into ever since they were children, couldn't be more glad for it.

Granted, Shikari's a tad too bloodthirsty than the average shinobi but her heart was in the right place.

Kind of.

Maybe if one would squint a little and take a few steps back.

...Kakashi was a bad influence on him.

All kidding aside, Shikari deserved the title and it's not just for the fighting prowess she was famed for.

Oh, the former Nara heiress was terrifying in battle. She did acquire a flee-on-sight warning in her teens and her title, Chimamire no Kage - The Bloody Shadows, was well-earned. Her skills with her trusty tonfas were honestly the stuff on nightmares - especially for those in Kumo if Killer Bee, the eight-tailed Jinchuuriki, was to be believed. The Raikage's brother did made enough raps over it that it eventually became a long-running joke in the Elemental Nations.

Kami, even her ninken had a page of its own in the bingo books and if that's not frightening, he didn't know what was.

...That's not even including her odd fire-bloodlimit that could duplicate things and turn everything into stone, as well as the lethal hedgehog summons she suddenly got out of nowhere.

Shisui had frequently complained to him whenever he was drunk and pissed that Shikari was too overpowered and Itachi...well Itachi fully agreed.

But that's not what would make her a good kage, no.

It's her personality - this certain aura of hers that would attract everyone's attention and regard. She, put quite simply, was an unstoppable force that forced anyone to sit up and, against all rational reason, follow.

It's fascinating to see, all the more apparent with Itachi at her side and witnessed the ridiculous happenings front and center, how after beating up her enemies, those who weren't killed would either flock to her like demented puppies or accost her everyday just to get a shred of attention. Of course, as expected, they would be promptly pushed away through violent means because, apparently they were _crowding too much and she'll bite them to death._

The Akatsuki - S-class pests that they were, and the Jinchurikiis they were hunting in the past, weren't an exception to this, and damn it, it's making Itachi's life difficult.

Itachi could handle the occasional besotted chuunin and jounin that came knocking but pairs like Deidara and Sasori or Killer Bee and Yagura was beyond even his efforts. They were just so damn persistent, it's irritating. Don't even get him started on Hidan because Itachi would literally wring someone's neck - pacifistic leanings be damned.

He wouldn't have such a hard time if his supposed comrades in arms and people Shikari could tolerate - Kakashi, Shisui, Kou or Hana - backed him up but they wouldn't.

They seemed to have got it into their heads that Itachi was just needlessly jealous and in denial of his feelings for Shikari but he's- he's _not_.

Ridiculous, all of those dolts were.

It's not Itachi's fault that he got used to watching over Shikari when they were young and those men weren't good enough for his best-friend damn it.

He's just overprotective.

That's normal, right?

"Omnivore." A voice interrupted his musings. Looking at the speaker, Itachi ignored the bittersweet pang at the sight of Shikari's face. "The pest was looking for you. Let Kou handle the paperwork for once."

Itachi smiled. "Hai, Hokage-sama."

"Hn." His best-friend sat on her table and proceeded to sign the papers on her desk.

Itachi closed the door softly and sighed. What does Shisui want with him now? He hoped it wasn't too destructive. He wasn't really in the mood for it at the moment.

He shook his head - brushing off the tight feeling in his chest - and messed up his hair in exasperation.

Itachi needed a drink.


	2. Cloudy Sky AU - ii

Cloudy-Sky AU - **II**

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 **Summary** : Where Sasuke is a hopeless, pining tsundere.

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke didn't have many fond memories of their current Rokudaime Hokage, Nara Shikari.

He always did consider her as - for the lack of better word - the bane of his existence.

Since he was but a child, Sasuke had seen Shikari as an obstacle. A hindrance. All the older girl ever did was to snatch his nii-san's attention away from him and bully him into playing nice with her brother, Shikamaru.

Calling him _small animal_. Being so damn _condescending_ , it grated on his nerves. Patting his head like he was a _dog_.

Oh, how he despised her at that time.

For a long time, he remembered irrationally blaming Shikari for not being taken seriously by everyone. It didn't help that Shisui egged the thought on, because that's just the special kind of bastard that he was, and made it worse by dubbing him a cutesy nickname - _Ducky-chan_ \- inspired by Shikari's passing comment.

(He could actually still remember the remark she made the first time she met him.

It went something like: "How adorable, small animal. Your hair sticks up like a duck's butt."

Then she patted his head like she's his freaking owner.)

...He could still never quite forgive her for that.

Not that his nii-san saved him from his plight. His older brother was weak in face of his best-friend. He thought it was adorable and jumped in tease-Sasuke-till-he-turns-like-a-tomato brigade too.

It was _frustrating_.

And that state of affairs went on for a long time. It continued up until his academy days where Naruto, that dobe Shisui took under his wing, made the moniker popular because he's a little shit like that. And Sasuke-

Sasuke had no one, but his _fangirls_ to defend his honor.

It was torture for a prepubescent-kid who thought he had something to prove, but Sasuke worked hard despite of it and he graduated at the academy as one of the top students of the year.

One of. Because he's not the only one who got the top spot.

...Sasuke didn't like to think about it. It's still a blow to his pride til now.

He was so sure he was free of the reputation Shikari subjected him with when he graduated in the academy, but, unfortunately, Sasuke just couldn't. get. away. from. _her_.

Shikari was his jounin-sensei.

And it was as difficult and grating as you probably can imagine.

He still wasn't sure how he and his teammates survived until now because the kunoichi wasn't, in any way or form, someone suited for teaching kids.

Seriously.

With torture disguised as training, Sasuke sweated and shed blood to reach where he was now.

He sometimes wished he didn't went through Shikari to be this way though.

Or at least that was what he tried to convince himself.

(Sasuke ignored the times when the older Nara's presence made him happy - valued. Because she always did see him for who he was. Not as a kid to be protected or sheltered. She believed in him - Sasuke, the Uchiha spare - in his capabilities that in face of ridiculously strong opponents, she trusted in him and his teammates to watch her back and reach her expectations. She's the first one who believed in him without question.

Even Itachi didn't do that. His older brother tried his best, but Sasuke knew Itachi found it difficult to see him for he is now and not for who he was.

...He pushed down the times when he could just stare, hopelessly bewitched at Shikari's overwhelming strength and charisma in battle. His awe at the sheer power her slight body was capable of. And every single thing remotely close to admiring who she was and what she stands for, because he didn't want to touch that issue with a ten-foot pole if he had anything to say about it.

It's no use.

Sasuke didn't have a _chance_ anyway.)

Arranging the files Itachi forgot to give Shikari the other day, Sasuke sighed and shook his head.

How in kami's name did his nii-san fell in love with Shikari, anyway?

Sasuke could admit that she was pretty, but she - she wasn't that _pretty_. Shikari's brown hair and eyes weren't all that special in comparison to Sakura's pink locks and green eyes or Ino's own blond hair and soft blue peepers. She also wasn't that well-endowed compared to Hinata or Hana. She wasn't even what one would call a "wife-material". Shikari's crass, brutal, oblivious, overprotective-

(and so fucking beautiful, it hurts.)

Why?

Just why?

(...can't he stop thinking about her?)

"Sasuke." A high voice that infuriatingly sounded like bells starts lightly, interrupting his train of thought. "Hm. Thank you, small animal. I was waiting for that."

Sasuke could feel his face go red. "I'm not a small animal, sens- er Hokage-sama. Stop calling me that." He could feel himself - much to his horror - whine. "I'm an adult now."

Shikari smirked, putting her coat on her chair. "Of course you are." She said in a tone so patronizing Sasuke couldn't help, but bristle.

"I _am_." He insisted.

"That's what I said." Shikari put on her glasses - something Sasuke noticed she started wearing once she started doing her paperwork.

Sasuke could feel himself blush harder.

Shit.

Damn puberty. And hormones.

(Sasuke chose to ignore that he's in his twenties now and supposedly passed that phase already.)

Sasuke closed the door quietly and ran outside. He needed to release some tension. He wondered if Naruto or Shikamaru was up for a spar.

(He didn't have a chance damn it. _Why was he torturing himself like this?_ Shit.)

(Damn it. She was for _Itachi_. _Nii-san_. His older brother tried to deny it, but anyone with eyes could see the soft look and fond smiles he wore when he's with Shikari.)

(Sasuke chest hurt.)


	3. Little Sister AU - i

Little Sister AU - **I**

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 **Summary** : Where Nara Shikari is born just a wee bit later and Shikamaru questions the mental health of the people around him.

* * *

 **1.**

Shikamaru didn't know what he did in his past life to deserve the little sister he was saddled with but it must have been pretty bad when he got one that had acquired the hobby of "biting him to death" at the tender age of three.

He wasn't kidding.

No matter what his mother always said whenever he brought the topic up or the indulgent looks his father sent him whenever he protested about the treatment he'd gotten-

He wasn't- he wasn't going _crazy_.

Shikamaru would know. He already checked from the books he'd borrowed from Inoichi-oji's library. If anyone was, it was the others for thinking that Nara Shikari's a "sweetie pie" or a "darling" or whatever _cutesy_ nickname the people around him managed to come up with to describe his younger sister.

He wouldn't be duped.

That damn toddler was a terrifying, insidious menace and everyone was a fool for not seeing it.

Shikamaru shook his head in disgust at the shallowness of people and their inability to put up a fight against dimpled cheeks and adorable babies while cautiously looking at his surroundings in case his mother got mind-reading powers sometime after breakfast and heard him swear. He wouldn't be surprised if the woman did - kami knew his mother was _terrifying_ and could get incensed for the er- _littlest_ of things.

(If his mother gets angry during the times when he would ditch his responsibilities around the house- well Shikamaru had a...good reason for that.

He was a growing boy.

He needed sleep.

If his nap times somehow managed to always strike during times where he should be doing his chores that's just luck and coincidence, he tells you.

Luck and coincidence.)

Shikamaru swore his mother had it out for him. It was _unfair_. She wasn't like that with his sister-

(He chose to ignore the infuriatingly reasonable voice in his head that said it was understandable since precociousness aside, his sister was a three year old and the comparison he was making wasn't, in any shape or form, fair.

That voice was irritating, truly.)

She could do no wrong, the little angel, Shikamaru mockingly mouthed as he looked up from the sky and remembered the fussing the clan did to the haughty toddler.

Shikari practically got all of the others wrapped under her little finger but Shikamaru knew better. That baby was trouble since she first said her first sentence and Shikamaru would stand by that belief even if Shikari was admittedly... _cute_ for a brat.

He grimaced at the thought but couldn't bring himself to retract the description since it was, undeniably, the truth.

"What a drag."

* * *

When Shikamaru first heard his mother was pregnant, he immediately thought it would be nice to look out for someone for a change. A little sister, maybe, to avoid pesky little brother-inferiority-complexes that makes everything troublesome in the long run and, perhaps, well- hopefully _influence_ her not to be another version of Ino or their mother.

With a little bit of doting and attention, it would probably work. Little sisters were supposed to idolize their older brothers, after all, and Shikamaru's sure he could muster enough energy to bring out that kind of fervor.

He got it all planned.

Shikamaru would train her to like shogi, see naps and cloud-watching as a valid hobby, and be as unharpy-like as possible.

His little sister would be the most untroublesome girl that a Nara could ever met and a useful heater when he wanted to have some cuddle time.

Chouji's good but he's not always there so having a sister like that would be amazing.

It was supposed to be perfect.

Until the baby was actually born and everything went bananas.

Nothing was ever right again.

Not by a long shot.

* * *

"Shikamaru, can you bring your sister to the park today? I would be busy filling up some-" His mother asked as she fussed over the pouting baby in front of him.

"What." Shikamaru managed to choke out as he coughed out the water that went down the wrong tube.

"Yes." His mother's eyes glinted in warning. "I have to fill up some paperwork, you see - tie up some loose ends and Shikari was getting fussy inside the clan grounds. A bit of fresh air would be good for her." She smiled sharply. "Besides, Kasuga-kun volunteered to watch over you so it wouldn't be much of a bother, so be a good brother ne?" She bustled around the dining table and turned to his little sister. "Shikari-chan, would you like more water?"

The baby scrunched up her nose before nodding her head regally.

What.

Shikamaru wanted to bang his head on something.

Ugh.

This would be a drag.


	4. Cloudy Sky AU - iii

Cloudy-Sky AU - **III**

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 **Summary:** Where Tsuna was reborn in the Naruto world as Nagato and Konan's son in Amegakure and met Konoha's newest Hokage in the latest Kage Summit.

 **Note:** This would not happen in the original Ruminant 'verse. This was just made to satisfy an interesting request from a reviewer in AO3.

 **Warning:** Suggestive...uh pick-up lines and swearing.

* * *

Yahiko was an old soul.

And not just in the idiomatic sense, although that worked just as well too.

He's literally an old soul.

Although being reincarnated into another world was...jarring, Reborn had trained him well-enough that he managed to adjust after several months. After all, Sawada Tsunayoshi was a mafia boss. The Neo-Vongola Primo of the strongest famiglia in Italy. He had a reputation to uphold and well- his trigger-happy tutor would probably get his hide if he didn't get his shit together.

Yahiko wouldn't be surprised if Reborn would somehow break the laws of time, space and dimension to terrorize him back into shape so he strove to put all the man's teachings into use.

And he meant "to use" in every sense of the word, since the life he had been dropped into certainly wasn't for the faint-hearted.

As the son of Konan, the famed angel of Amegakure, and Nagato, the weilder of the so-called ultimate dojutsu, the Rinnegan, Yahiko had a lot to live up to. He was lucky he was what he was because he didn't think a normal kid would have came out of the childhood that he had with all his pieces intact.

After all, if your father was known the closest thing to a god as a shinobi could possibly be and was the leader of an organization with unstable S-rank ninjas as its members, anyone's childhood would probably be skewed to kingdom come.

Thank goodness for his mother's existence that Yahiko managed to grow up into a slightly dysfunctional, but still relatively normal young man after everything that happened.

* * *

Smiling at the curious eyes that followed them warmly, Yahiko looked at the building that they were supposed to conduct the Kage Summit meeting in.

The way it was designed was surprisingly traditional. From the rumors that he had heard from Konoha and its ninjas, he half-expected it to be more... _individualistic_.

More eccentric.

It wasn't like that at all.

With elegant touches of the modernistic style that was gaining popularity this days peeking in beside the wooden floors and paper doors, the place was beautiful.

Normal.

And it kind of looked familiar, if he was being honest.

Yahiko wondered why.

"Welcome, Nagato-sama. Please follow me to get to the meeting room." A pretty blonde dressed in a purple crop top and skirt started politely, interrupting his train of thought. She smiled. "Others are already there and our Hokage, Shikari-sama, will be following right after."

His father, Nagato, nodded. "Thank you."

When they went inside, it was oddly quiet. The kages were surrounding a round table and sitting on the sofas around it with their respective guards behind them. Yahiko followed their lead and stood behind his father as he exchange meaningless pleasantries with the other leaders inside the room.

Terumi Mei, the Mizukage, smiled at them along with Sabaku no Temari, the Kazekage. Kisame and Sasori, the kage's respective guards, nodded at them curtly before averting their eyes. A, the Raikage, and Onoki, the Tsuchikage, just looked at them blandly while Deidara, Kurotsuchi and Killer B didn't even spare them a glance.

...It took a while before he finally noticed a certain... _tension_ in the air.

To Yahiko's credit - although this lapse in attention would have earned him a kick in the head from his spartan tutor, thank kami Reborn wasn't here -, he didn't expect that kind of tension to be present in a meeting of people barely cordial with one another.

How... _befuddling_.

It would be understandable if it was the kind of tension that usually appeared before a fight, since despite of the peace they currently have now, old wounds and grievances weren't easily forgotten. After all, ninjas are very vindictive and they have ridiculously long memories. However, much to his growing confusion, the tension in the room wasn't referring to that kind of tension.

It was more of an anticipatory kind of tension. A kind that was, if he was being honest, akin to fans waiting for their idols or favorite artists during a concert in his past life. It was like they're eagerly waiting for something...or, in this case, someone.

It was frankly getting kind of ridiculous.

Yahiko snapped to attention when Nagato gestured for him to get closer. "Prepare yourself." His father warned under his breath.

He frowned. Prepare for what?

As the door opened, Yahiko tensed as the mood in the room changed when the infamous Rokudaime Hokage, Nara Shikari, along with her entourage, Hatake Kakashi and Uchiha Itachi entered the room.

The Chimimare no Kage.

He heard of her.

Who didn't? The young woman had managed several feats that made her name legendary in all nations. Many shinobi and kunoichi sung her name and beauty. It was already a long-running joke in the Elemental Nations how the tonfa-wielding girl managed to capture the hearts and adoration of several former missing-nin.

He had always thought the rumors were exaggerated.

The meeting clearly proved that they were not.

She was beautiful, certainly. Even with her common coloring - dark hair and dark eyes, her features were truly remarkable. Yet, Yahiko didn't think that it was what made her really stand out.

It's in her presence. The sheer aura of the wee slip of a girl dressed in a pretty yukata with her hair held up in an elaborate do.

Sky flames.

It's used in an unconventional way too with Cloud as its secondary.

How fascinating.

And that's not all. With the supposed bodyguards of all kages - Deidara of Iwagakure, Sasori of Sunagakure, Kisame of Kirigakure and Killer B of Kumogakure - watching Shikari like she was a piece of- of _meat_ with only Uchiha Itachi and Hatake Kakashi as her bodyguards, it could easily be seen that the joke wasn't hyperbolic on purpose.

Their respective come-ons were kind of painful to hear.

And it started with Kisame - the blue, hulking shark-man - of all people, who, somehow, managed to sneak it in during a lull in the conversation and start a competition between the Hokage's...suitors.

This, surprisingly, didn't irritate anyone in the meeting. Everyone seemed to treat it as a common enough phenomena and most even looked amused at the show.

Except for the Uchiha guard, maybe. Yahiko wasn't really sure since the guy's expression seemed to be perpetually frozen stiff.

"There must be something wrong with my eyes." The Kiri shinobi smiled bloodthirstily, his sharp teeth gleaming in warning. "I can't take them off you."

Not to be outdone, the Hachibi jinchuriki sneaked in with a beaming grin. "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream."

Sasori of the Red Sands, who Yahiko thought could rival the Uchiha's aloofness, even joined the mix with a disturbingly suggestive, "My hands are gonna be inside you all night long." The puppet smirked. "Because I'll be ripping out your organs and turning you into a puppet."

It ended though when Deidara sneaked in with a, "I wish you were the bomb, so you could blow me." He leered. "That act would truly be...an exquisite piece of art."

Apparently, the Uchiha reached the end of his patience at that and flashed his Sharingan at the lot vindictively. This, once again, surprisingly didn't offend anyone and, if that was even possible, made the people around them more amused.

What in Reborn's tight ass was even happening anymore?

This went on up until the end of the meeting with even some Kages - notable of which were Terumi Mei - joining in the fun and goading the Uchiha's ire. Yahiko could only marvel at the astonishing lack of bloodshed considering the events that took place when, as the other kages file past him and he was left as the third to the last to leave the room, the Hokage called out to him quietly and snapped him out of it.

"Omnivore." The petite girl bared her teeth in a smile. "Long time no see."

Yahiko wasn't the only one to startle in surprise. Uchiha Itachi, the one who stayed behind Shikari, also stiffened and seemed to have activated his sharingan unknowingly.

Or, after a second look, not so _unknowingly_.

Wait. Omnivore.

Yahiko finally put the pieces together and- shit balls.

 _Holy crap_.

How didn't he see this earlier?

The tonfas - the ridiculous power levels. It seemed so obvious in hindsight.

"Kyoya." He breathed out incredulously. "You're Hokage?"

Kyoya - no _Shikari_ smirked. "You're slow, Sawada Tsunayoshi." Her eyes gleamed in excitement. "Fight me."

That...was Kyoya alright.

Yahiko didn't even know why he was even surprised, to be honest. It wasn't as if he was expecting a heartfelt talk or anything but...yeah.

He really should have known better.

"That wouldn't be wise, Shikari-sama." Itachi chided before Yahiko could say anything in reply. The Uchiha frowned at his Hokage disapprovingly before eyeing him in a calculating manner.

And if Yahiko wasn't wrong, there was a bit of challenge in there too.

Poor kid.

Yahiko shot the kid a look of pity. The Uchiha would have his work cut out for him. In all the years he knew the man - now woman -, Kyoya was exceptionally dense...and well - most likely asexual. As far as he knew, Dino once tried courting his bloodthirsty guardian and the skylark didn't even bat an eye on the man's overtures.

Dino pulled out the big guns too and even brought a zoo of small animals for the cloud.

...Poor, poor kid.

However, today seemed to be full of surprises, when the world once again turned on its head as Shikari pouted. Or as much as the once-Hibari could pout anyway.

"No." Itachi said unconvincingly before sighing in defeat after a few seconds. Yahiko didn't blame him. For a person who spent most of his previous life, frowning, scowling or smirking smugly, Shikari surprisingly had a very...potent pout. "Okay, maybe. But only after the summit, Shikari."

Shikari smirked like the cat that got the canary and patted the dark-haired shinobi fondly.

Hm.

Maybe, the Uchiha _did_ have a chance. Yahiko didn't see that look often but it was given to people - no not people, species? - he treasured. Usually with Hibird. Sometimes with Roll too. Or with really adorable kids and small animals.

...The Uchiha probably needed to show his intentions before anything can happen.

It bore repeating.

Poor kid.

Maybe Yahiko could help.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Kyoya." Yahiko started teasingly.

Itachi seemed to blank in surprise. "Boy-friend?" He coughed awkwardly as a faint blush appeared on his cheeks.

Shikari smirk faded. "I'll bite you to death."

Or maybe not.

Yeah. He probably shouldn't.

Yahiko already had enough on his plate, anyway.

* * *

 **A/N:** The pick-up lines used above are not mine. They're from other people in the net because I suck at coming up with new ones lmao.

This was sitting on my laptop for like months. I just posted because I felt guilty for not posting for so long. Sorry if it wasn't up to par.


	5. Little Sister AU - ii

Little Sister AU - **II**

* * *

 **Summary:** Where Itachi has been replaced as younger!Shikari's pet. Aw. Sorry, 'Tachi.

* * *

 **2.**

Nara Shikari, formerly known as Hibari Kyoya, was bored as fuck.

His Mukuro-haired older brother was napping again with Chouji, and tormenting Kasuga, his babysitter, was getting old since the herbivore only cooed at his attempts.

It was _irritating_.

Sighing exasperatedly at the sight of screeching small animals in the place his "brother" brought him to, Kyoya sneaked away once Kasuga napped along Shikamaru's side, and snatched himself a stick along the way.

Maybe he could patrol this territory to pass the time.

* * *

Uchiha Shisui could only look on incredulously as a toddler beat several academy students with a stick.

What in the world is happening here?

He just left the compound to buy some snacks, because Sasuke, his little cousin, was a brat and didn't appreciate his _glorious_ presence. He could never say no to a sassy, reproachful Itachi - Shisui never could these days, because he knew Itachi had it harder than most - and well, the bonding time would be good to ease the stress lines on his partner's face.

(Itachi was thirteen for fudge's sake. Those _stress lines_ shouldn't even be in there.)

Shisui even went an extra mile and got it from the store near the park, since he knew Itachi would appreciate the gesture. He always lived for the days where his little cousin acted his age. It was...well- adorable. And yes, he knew that sounded creepy so shut up, it's not like that.

It's - Shisui believed it's because of Kakashi's influence, that _butt_. The uptight jounin had eventually started up this weird schtick where he called all his kohai adorable and act like an all-around troll in every sense of the word, and Shisui admitted there was a time in his life where the guy was actually his idol so now, well-

Some of his senpai's mannerisms may or may not have bled into his personality at some point.

A particularly sharp prod on one student - Yamanaka from the looks of it, although the coloring was wrong - from the rampaging child made him wince in pity and brought him back from his musings.

That must have _hurt_.

Shisui sighed before he flickered to the toddler's side silently. "Hey kid, where's your mother?"

The toddler ignored him and proceeded to beat up her...victims - for the lack of a better word to use.

Hefting the child on one arm, Shisui handily sneaked his dango on one of his pockets - thank _goodness_ he had it packed in a bag - as the girl turned to him with a frown.

"Put me down herbivore." She commanded bossily.

"Why should I?" He asked, raising his brow skeptically, even as he faltered from the cuteness the toddler commanded like a weapon.

"I'm keeping the peace." She huffed haughtily.

...Shisui melted.

He was done.

That was- that was _adorable_. Those chubby cheeks huffed - they _puffed_ and 'twas adorable.

"Do you want to be a ninja, then?" Shisui asked, after a minute of getting a hold of himself.

The toddler's eyes glinted in the light at the unfamiliar world and practically shone as it bore down on him intently. " _Ninja?_ "

Shisui nodded, walking away from the...rampage and accepting the looks of thanks from the survivors subtly. "Ninja's are shinobi who protect the village. They keep the peace, and grow strong to protect their love ones from harm."

"Carnivores." The child breathed out excitedly.

Shisui fought the urge to squeeze the charming bundle in his arms lest he squeeze her too much and hurt her. "Yes, carnivores." He nodded indulgently. "They sharpen their teeth, claws and fangs to survive and protect."

Shisui, honest to Kami, almost squealed when the kid visibly composed herself, as if just realizing how young she was and irrationally resenting it. She peered up at him beneath her eyelashes. "Are you a carnivore too?"

He nodded.

The girl smiled. "Wao."

With a surprisingly hard hit on his stomach, Shisui let go - he was more surprised than hurt, actually - and found himself impressed, more than anything, by the toddler's stance.

"Fight me." She said, endearingly vicious and Shisui-

Shisui smiled. "Maybe, I'll teach you later. Would you like to eat first, though?" He offered. "It's almost lunch."

The kid narrowed her brows in concentration before straightening up - apparently arriving into some sort of conclusion. She nodded at him seriously. "I'll lead you to my - " She grimaced. "Brother and pineapple."

Offering his hand to the kid, Shisui bit back a smile when she scrunched up her nose in disgust and huffed as she adorably _waddled_ in front of him to take the lead.

Shisui was dead by cuteness _overloa-_

Wait.

The kid was a Nara?

* * *

Itachi looked at him exasperatedly as he carried an exhausted Sasuke on his back. "What took you so long, Shisui?"

Shisui grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, 'Tachi. I was busy acquiring my own cuter Sasuke-minion, and lost track of time."

His younger cousin paused. He looked at Shisui warily. "Who was it?"

Shisui paused. "I-" He cocked his head to the side. "It was-" He stopped.

Itachi cracked a smile, after a minute of Shisui's continued silence. "You didn't know their name, did you?"

"I forgot to ask." He admitted, faintly embarrassed. "She was a Nara though, had an older brother about Sasuke's age." He stretched his arms at the back of his head. "The kid was cute and wanted to be a Military Police officer." He paused. "Well, kind of." Shisui amended. "She wanted to keep the peace in the village, at least, and it's-it's _nice_ Itachi. That there were still kids who didn't saw as something to be afraid of, because their parents told them to." He messed up his hair. "There are still people in the village who don't see our clan crest and automatically think we're the bad guys."

Itachi fell silent and stopped in his tracks.

"Itachi?" Shisui asked.

"That was the Nara clan-head's kid, Shisui." Itachi murmured. "The Jounin commander's daughter - Shikari. You know, the one that the clan couldn't stop boasting about these past few months."

"Ah." Shisui paused, digesting the information. "If I was adopted by her, does that mean I'm a Nara now?"

Itachi glanced at him confusedly. "What?"

"She introduced me to her brother as her pet." Shisui smiled. "It was cute. I think she really sees me as her older brother, now. She couldn't seem to stand her real one." He smirked sharply. "Her brother was _jealous_. It's obvious she likes me more than him."

"Shisui, that's not-" Itachi replied, his voice strained. "You let her call you her pet?"

"What? You let Sasuke call you his pet." Shisui argued. "I don't see why it's a _problem_ when it's with me."

"What." Itachi's eyes widened. "Sasuke didn't-"

"I thought you knew." Shisui tilted his head. "He was so proud of you too, Itachi."

Itachi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with the hand not holding Sasuke in exasperation. "I- forget about it. I'm not talking about this with you. Where's my dango, Shisui?"

Shisui faltered. He laughed nervously. "It may or may have put itself in my and an adorable girl's stomach at some point today."

Itachi frowned. "I feel kind of betrayed."

"Now you know how I feel." Shisui says dramatically, a hand on his heart just _because_ , before body-flickering away.

"Idiot." Itachi muttered fondly.

* * *

 **A/N:** I couldn't resist. Buy me coffee? Search alunagray in kofi's website. If not, well, reviews would be bloody fantastic. Thank you for reading.


	6. Minato's Apprentice - i

Minato's Apprentice - **I**

* * *

 **Summary:** Where Shikari's a little bit older and manages to become even more terrifying after weedling an apprenticeship from the future Yondaime Hokage.

 **Note:** This wouldn't be included in the original verse, but made only to satisfy an interesting request.

* * *

 **1.**

When Minato first met Nara Shikari, it went like this.

...

..

.

"Spar with me." A little girl demanded imperiously as she looked at Minato down on her nose.

Maybe, he heard that wrong.

"What?" Minato asked, tilting his head confusedly.

"Herbivore." The little girl side-eyed him judgementally. "It means to fight," She continued slowly as if speaking to a child. "if you don't know what spar means. _Fight_ me."

Minato raised a brow, amused at the child's precociousness. "Why in the world would I ever do that?"

The little girl grimaced and avoided his eyes. "A pervert recommended you to me."

There was silence as Minato let this sunk in.

"What." He deadpanned.

She pursed her lips and didn't respond.

"You don't mean Jiraiya-sensei?" Minato sputtered. "You're like - what? Four? When did you even _met_ him?"

The little girl scowled. "I was...biting him to death for peeking on the bathhouse."

Minato groaned, inwardly lamenting where he went wrong. He apparently did at some point when his sensei degenerated into something like _this_ while he wasn't looking. "He's peeking on little girls now?"

"Get your head of the gutter." She said, disgusted. "He's peeking on one of my..." The little girl sneered. "relatives and I was forced to take drastic action."

Minato looked down at her in confusion. "Drastic action?"

"His giggling was irritating." She turned away. "He was strong though, bafflingly enough-"

"You use a lot of big words." Minato commented.

"-but he escaped before the fight ended." She continued blandly, ignoring Minato. "I tried to find him, but I was informed that he was in a mission outside the village. I remembered your name coming up when the man was begging for mercy after being squashed by my relatives' bodies."

"So you went and find me just because of that." Minato filled in the blanks dryly.

She tilted her chin up stubbornly. "I'm already _six_ , you disgusting herbivore, but my relatives are coddling me too much. I needed the practice."

"I'm not the person for that."

The little girl scowled, her cheeks puffing up. "I just want a sparring partner."

Minato sighed, rubbing the back of his neck resignedly. "Who's your mother, child?"

Her eyes sharpened. "Nara Yoshino."

"You're a Nara." He said flatly.

The little girl stared at him blankly, uncomprehending.

"And-" Minato paused. "You're my goddaughter."

"I am?" She cocked her head, before nodding - pleased. "Well, that solved the issue, didn't it?"

"I can't train you," Minato shook his head. "Yoshino-san would skin me if anything happened to you."

His goddaughter looked at him incredulously. "My mother was the one who suggested I approach you in the first place."

"I already have an apprentice." Minato protested.

His goddaughter tilted her head, glancing at him skeptically. "I don't want to be your apprentice."

Minato winced. "Don't you want dolls instead?"

She looked at him in disdain. "Do you want to get hurt?"

Minato probably deserved that.

* * *

"You do know I was his favorite student, right?" Kakashi mentioned casually as he sat on Shikari's couch.

Shikari looked at him blandly as she sipped her tea, already used to the silver-haired man's occasional unwanted visits in her house.

"I mean. I had _seniority_ rule. I was legal. I was the _first_ , the adopted son." Kakashi rambled on. "I'm _obviously_ ," He emphasized. "the favorite."

The dark-haired teen rolled her eyes and brought her tea down. "If that helps you sleep at night, then be my guest, herbivore." She said demurely.

Kakashi glared at her balefully. "It's true."

Shikari smirked.

"You only manipulated him to be your teacher, you _witch_." Kakashi sniffed. "I, on the other hand, didn't need that."

Shikari shook her head delicately before standing up. She vanished before Kakashi could blink.

...

..

.

"That wasn't fair, sensei." Kakashi blurted after he, along with his team, debriefed the Yondaime on the last S-ranked mission they were assigned in.

"What?" Minato looked up from his stack of paperwork, befuddled. "Kakashi? I thought the mission went well."

Kakashi looked at his former sensei blankly. "I'm not talking about that. It's just-" He shook his head in disbelief. " _Why_? What were you _thinking_ , sensei?"

Minato put down his pen, concerned. "Kakashi?"

"Why did you teach the harpy the _Hiraishin_?" Kakashi griped, triggered. "The _Hiraishin_ , Kami. I would have understood if it was Obito - he needed all the help he could get-"

"I'm right here, Kakashi." Obito murmured wryly from beside him.

"But _Shikari_?" He continued incredulously, ignoring Obito. "That woman was too overpowered for her own good. What in the world were you thinking sensei?"

"But I didn't-" Minato visibly paled. "I didn't teach her that Kakashi."

"What." Kakashi stopped in his tracks.

Minato grimaced. "Are you sure?"

Kakashi nodded jerkily, his eyes narrowed.

Minato rubbed his face resignedly. "Let's just hope that the Elemental Nations wouldn't break down-

"Too late." Rin put in her two cents cheerfully. "I heard from Sakura that Shikari was visiting every village she could, so she could mark the place and start disciplining it."

" _Fuck._ "

"Language, sensei." Obito and Rin chorused, amused.

Kakashi looked at his teammates disbelievingly. "You're not worried? _This-_ " He gestured with an arm - moving it in a way as if it would convey the magnitude of the issue as he saw it as. "this is an _emergency._ "

"You're just jealous, Kakashi." Rin drawled dryly.

Kakashi pouted under his mask. "I'm not!" He protested.

Obito laughed before jumping off the window, Rin not far from his heels.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Damn, I love suggestions like this. It keeps my muse going lol. Buy me coffee? Search AlunaGray in ko-fi's website. If not, well- I would love to have reviews. Also, shameless self-promotion. I just posted gnawing off the remains - another Kyoya crossover but set in AOT as Armin Arlert like last week, maybe? Check it out, if you want.


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